CAT TRAINING

I sometimes pop into Theanswerbank.co.uk for help with a tricky crossword and have also had good technical help there on IT problems. It is a busy and nice site and its managers are attempting to draw traffic by sending out newsletters on interesting recent threads.

See http://tinyurl.com/ntc9w43 for a discussion which started well on how to persuade cats not to walk around and polish their bums on your kitchen worktop. If anybody has more comment to offer, do Answerbank the favour but I wouldn’t mind a copy at cgbenfield@outlook.com – or I could do a ring-round for you if you are a features editor with half a day’s wage to spend.

Evian Baby complained: “I was making a sarnie yesterday and he jumped up right next to me as if it’s just ok. It’s gross. I already use a citric cleaner but that obviously doesn’t put him off and I never keep any food out. Any suggestions to stop the little bugger?”

Somebody had to do it and Canary42 suggested “a good clout each time it does it”.

Boo said: “I hope it rips your arm to shreds.”

Hopkirk said: “Shout, scream, stamp your feet and shoo him. it won’t make any difference, but at least you will feel like you are doing something.”

Baldric: “We trained ours with a plant spray set on jet like a water pistol.”

Somebody said cats didn’t like the smell of bleach but Ummmm said some loved it and Snags confirmed: “It’s the ammonia … smells like cat urine.”

Magsmay: “Hiss loudly at it, pick it up and put it down sharply – it will know what you mean. Cleaner on the surfaces is dangerous as the cat might jump up and then lick its paws.”

Eventually Wolf63 offered a prompt for the exit line: “Remember that you are an intelligent female human and he is a 5kg fur ball – who do you think will win this battle?”

Lloydp delivered: “The cat. Every time.”

Canary42 wisely stayed shtum this time but I knew what he was thinking.

**

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