See some banjo jokes at

And some accordion jokes at

and drummer jokes at

And then see

where Gdn columnist Simon Hoggart reports that the viola player, or violist, is the Irishman of the orchestra, for some reason …

“If someone walks into a bank with a violin case, it’s scary because he might have a Tommy gun. If he walks in with a viola case, it’s worse, because he might have a viola.”

“How is lightning like a violist’s fingers? Neither strikes in the same place twice.”

“The difference between a viola and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.”

“Why is a viola solo like a bomb? By the time you hear it, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

 “How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando? Mark it ‘solo’.”



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