SHEDNOTES 36: A Filofacts of quotes on Family …

Tim Lott offered a nice collection of unlikely observations about family in the Guardian of 20.12.14, which will go into The Shed’s collection of quotes for all occasions – currently filed as Filofacts pages, pending further re-organisation.
For more of ours, see
Below, we have filled in the answers to Tim Lott’s questions, although we have not yet identified who everybody is.

Who said?
Q1. “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”
a) Jerry Seinfeld
Q2. “The troublesome ones in a family are usually either the wits or the idiots.”
a) George Eliot
Q3. “At best, the family teaches the finest things human beings can learn from one another – generosity and love. But it is also, all too often, where we learn nasty things like hate, rage and shame.”
a) Barbara Ehrenreich
Q4. “I think people that have a brother or sister don’t realise how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there’s always somebody there, somebody that’s family …”
a) Trey Parker
Q5. “[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”
a ) Pat Robertson
Q6. “I’ll keep it short and sweet – Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.”
a) Simpsons writer Matt Groening
Q7.“Mother is the dead heart of the family, spending father’s earnings on consumer goods to enhance the environment in which he eats, sleeps, and watches television.”
a) Germaine Greer
Q8. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
a) George Burns
Q9. “All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.”
a) Mitch Albom
Q10. “Parents are like God … you wanna know they’re out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.”
a) Offbeat novelist Chuck Palahniuk
Q11. “It’s very hard to grow up in a perfect family when you’re not perfect.”
a) EL James
Q12. “This was the trouble with families. Like invidious doctors, they knew just where it hurt.”
a) Novelist Arundhati Roy
Q13. “I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.”
a) Horror writer Stephen King
Q14. “All families are psychotic. Everybody has basically the same family – it’s just reconfigured slightly different from one to the next.”
a) Sci-fi writer Douglas Coupland
Q15. “Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”
a) Friedrich Nietzsche
Q16. “Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.”
a) Voltaire
Q17. “If a man’s character is to be abused, say what you will, there’s nobody like a relative to do the business.”
a) William Makepeace Thackeray
Q18. “I know I can’t tell you what it’s like to be gay. But I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not hiding behind words, Mama. Like family and decency and Christianity.”
a) Armistead Maupin
Q19: “Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
a) Tolstoy
Q20. “Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”
a) Dr Seuss


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