SHEDNOTES 73: When the rules don’t make sense

Here in The Shed, the rules about when to wash hands are sometimes relaxed a little and we were interested in the recent batch of horror stories about how many men don’t always bother after a pee.
The Shed’s old mate Mac, who moved to rural Spain and learned to do crosswords in Spanish, once explained the local attitude to their primitive bogs …
They simply saw a urinal without blinkers, as the festering mess it eventually becomes, somewhere underground. The art was barge in without touching the door, which therefore had no locks, to add your load into the hole as accurately as possible and back out. Why try to turn a sewer into somewhere to linger and buff up your cleanliness?
There is a parallel British attitude that you will probably pick up as many germs as you wash off once you start turning taps. And whatever the publicity says, don’t we all wonder what happens to the vapours created by a Dyson Airblade? The Shed would prefer a paper towel any day and is disappointed that the right to one is not in any manifesto we have yet had a glimpse of.
The Shed will abide by the rules of civilised western behaviour when offered a nice clean bathroom, but reserves the right to take a balance of probabilities approach on public premises, even if they are run by Rentokil Initial, which commissioned the latest research.
As we have heard it asked round the back of The Drunken Rat, unless you splash or you’ve got a dirty dick, what are you worried about?


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