SHEDNOTES 140: Rampaging willies threaten civilisation

One of the lessons of life is that you never know what is happening on the streets unless you go and look.

Recently, Dorset police agreed to pay compensation to two men they Tasered and pepper-sprayed at the end of a stag night in Weymouth – John Naylor and Darren Corbridge.

The report mentioned in passing: “Naylor, 53, and Corbridge, 40, had been celebrating with groom-to-be Stewart Roberts, who was in fancy dress as a set of male genitalia. They were struggling to get him home at a taxi rank when a fracas broke out between a large group of revellers and several police officers who were on the scene.”

The Shed enjoyed the idea of a six-foot knob at the centre of a punch-up with the cops but took a particular interest because the report reminded us of an earlier cutting from the Guardian, reporting on a meeting of York licensees to discuss the problems of their riverside drinking arenas …

Helen Pidd and Patrick Greenfield reported:

“The new enemy is the stag and hen parties who pile onto trains from surrounding regions for all-day drinking sessions each Saturday.

“Even the students have noticed. ‘We’re the well behaved ones now,’ said Charlie, a second year student at the University of York.

“Anita Adams from the Maltings asked one officer what he thought the pubs could do to help. ‘Ban inflatables,’ he said, without hesitation. A suggestion to ban the sale of blow-up sex dolls and gigantic willies was dismissed as unworkable. But ‘make it a condition of entry that they can’t come in with them,’ suggested the officer.”

The Shed is simply passing on these glimpses of life back in town while preparing its own stag package, which starts with a can of Stella and a bucket to sit on for three quid a head.

endsfornow …

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